Thanks but No Thanks for the Mom Advice -Renee

Renee writes, "My mother-in-law has been telling my husband that I'm not a good mother. Her main "concerns" are that I don't give my children healthy snacks and that I let them have too much tablet time. I do my best but do allow them to sometimes have sweet treats (and tablet time when I need to get work done). I'm mostly upset because she didn't talk to me about it and went right to my husband. How can I work through this with her without hurting her feelings?"



The 2 of Wands is all about taking a big-picture approach to the situation. It doesn't mean ignoring it, it just means that you should own your decisions, let go of any guilt, and be boss. Being a mom in 2018 is not like it was for previous generations. They're your children, and you can feed them what you want when you want, and they can have as much tablet time as needed (in my opinion) so that you can survive all the challenges of the "moms who do it all" age!

I say this with the utmost respect for your mother-in-law: I believe she is the Fool personality in this spread! This doesn't mean that she's not smart... just that she has no idea how her words are affecting you and is forming uninformed opinions.

As such, I'll offer two ways that you may want to handle this situation:

  1. Enlighten your mother-in-law that you're aware of the text she sent to your husband and that your feelings are hurt that she might think that you're not a good mom. You can try to reassure her that you don't always give your kids sweet treats or entertain them for 8+ hours with screen time. Whatever discussion you decide to have, keep it short, stick to your guns, and keep in mind that she may need some reassurance, too, that she is loved and welcome in your family.
  2. Since you were never part of the conversation to begin with, you may want to not get involved now. Your husband could tell his mom that your feelings would be hurt if you knew she felt this way and that it's important that you and him make the decisions about snacks and tablet time.

This all comes down to communication, and the 2 of Wands is great at owning his or her decisions and communicating their reasoning effectively.