Love the Journey
I don't know if I'll ever overcome anticipatory anxiety. I just find that, using my intuition, and knowing myself better as I get older, I'm able to sometimes shut it off.
Today I had a potentially worrisome doctor's appointment. All is OK now, but I have to go in for tests next week just to make sure everything is fine. I'm 33-years-old. I've stopped going to see the doctor for every little ache and pain like I did when I was in my 20s. I assess a lot at home, to save money and time. Ha! Now that I'm older, I find myself only going to the doctor when it's something potentially scary -- something I don't know how to deal with, a pain or bump that won't go away. And holy cow... the anxiety that brings on! The not-knowing, the anxiety that always comes with sitting in the waiting room, just waiting for something scary to possibly happen.
For me, it's like when the building inspector calls to say they're going to be testing the fire alarms "sometime in the next day or two." The waiting, the not-knowing... it's... excruciating.
So today, as I sat in the waiting room, I decided to not fidget with my phone, to not play some online game, and to not welcome my entire family into my appointment by posting about it on Facebook. Instead, I asked how this appointment would go -- I instructed my guide: Major Arcana means something more serious/life altering, Minor Arcana means no big deal.
The 8 of Cups popped up. "Ok, probably not a big deal... at least for today," I thought. And it wasn't. So I thought this card may have meant that I had to just focus on my spiritual journey, to be zen about all this, to let it roll off my back. I think that was part of it, but... do you ever find that when you interact with a card, if the meaning you have in your head doesn't feel quite right, if you're struggling with it, if there's friction with the card, or even the opposite -- a moment of "a-ha" and burst of happiness with the card, and you hold onto that and take that feeling with you for the day... that other signs and symbols pop up during the day to clarify the card meaning?
Right after my appointment, I stopped by a local cafe that I haven't been in for over a year. There was chalk-art on the wall of a bicycle and a large sign that said, "Love the Journey." And I was reminded of another theme that this card often presents to me:
... that there will always be bumps in the road, trials, setbacks, but it rarely ever takes away from the beautiful adventure we're living, this journey we're on. I've taken this message with me today, and it's brought me so much peace and gratitude today. I hope it brings the same to you.