Single and Searching, How Tarot Can Help
About 5 months ago, I was doing Tarot readings at a wellness expo. A woman came by my table looking a little nervous, troubled even, and said that she wasn't sure I could help her. I told her not to worry about paying me just yet and to sit down and talk. I've heard every type of question at these events (from exorcism requests to the clinical assessment of a health condition) and so sometimes, I really can't help. She sat down, leaned close to me, and began to talk quietly.
She was having an affair with a married man. It had been going on for 4 years. There was a physical bond, of course, but an emotional one too. She wanted to know if this man loved her and wanted to continue a relationship with her. She also wanted to know if he was being "faithful" to her.
The cards don't judge, and I don't either. Nowadays, it's not uncommon for women and men to be in open marriages/relationships but, as a reader, I'm trained to get to the heart of the matter, to help if I can. This woman sat down for a reason, so there was obviously some part of the situation she wasn't happy about. In this case, her lover had become distant, and she feared he was losing interest in her and that their future was uncertain. She had visited other psychics who told her that the love was there, that everything would be OK -- and I don't doubt that, everything probably would be "OK." Even the cards revealed that there was a strong emotional bond between these two people. There was a reason this affair had gone on for 4 years, and it would probably continue for longer.
The cards also revealed that he was putting more effort into his marriage, which she confirmed and, something else -- a third woman. I was hesitant to say this with 100% certainty, so I asked carefully, and she confirmed it. He had denied it, but her intuition was reeling. She was sure there was someone else besides his wife.
This is one of the toughest situations for a Tarot reader to be in, to see your client suffering, to want to help, and to not really know how. When I get to this point, I tend to go back to 3 very basic questions that the Tarot is notoriously good at sorting out:
- What is the current energy of this situation?
If this woman was happily carrying on an affair with a man in an open marriage, and she was getting everything she needed out of the situation, as was he, and no one was getting hurt, I would say, "Carry on." But she wasn't happy. The cards confirmed that the energy of the relationship was one of deceit (7 of Swords) and confusion/competition (5 of Wands). There were possibly other women involved who she didn't know about, OR she didn't trust this man enough to believe that he wasn't lying when he said that there weren't.
- What do I want/need from this situation?
So, I asked what she wanted out of this relationship. In fact, we didn't even need to pull a card for this question. She wanted a committed relationship with this man. She knew with 100% certainty that's what she wanted. We also explored what a committed relationship would mean for her -- someone who was present, gave her full attention, someone she trusted.
- Can this situation fulfill my wants/needs?
Again, cards may not be needed for this question. She saw pretty quickly that this relationship did not and could not fulfill any of the wants or needs that she had. She even knew with certainty that this man would not leave his wife for her. That option was never on the table.
- What's next?
The cards outlined beautifully the type of man that she would connect with and form a lasting bond with. We could tell that he was in a position of management, mature, dedicated to his job. I hoped that she would see some light at the end of the tunnel, some small glimmer of hope that she deserved and would find something... someone... better.
Ultimately, it's up to you to decide which energies will make or break your relationship opportunities. I had a friend who broke up with someone because he chewed too loudly. Ha! Taking a few mindful moments with your cards can help:
Other questions to ask the cards when you're single and searching:
- What is the energy of the partner who is for my highest good?
- What do I need to feel secure in a relationship?
- What brings me the most joy in a relationship?
- What do I do next to bring love into my life?
- How can I be more open to new relationships?
- How does [this person] positively/negatively affect my life?
- What is the biggest deal-breaker for me in a relationship?
- What is the potential of this relationship?
- What am I not seeing in this relationship?
- How can I make sure my needs are met?
- How can I strengthen the relationship I'm currently in?